“She told me she was the sub for bus number 69, so I shouted across the parking lot, ‘Anyone looking for 69?!’ Both times I didn’t realize what I had said until I looked over and saw a group of principals, teachers, and students laughing hysterically!” “Once there was a sub driver and the students hadn’t found her yet.” “A couple of them started climbing a light pole so I shouted, ‘Hey, get off the pole! Make better choices!'” “I was out in the parking lot helping to get middle schoolers to their buses.” “Wrote an announcement that went over the high school PA in the morning: ‘Ask anyone who has a heart on to say something romantic for Valentine’s Day.'” “She nearly cried after she had shouted out, ‘Mike Hunt is winning!'” “One of my friends was using Kahoot while covering someone else’s class, and they all decided to give themselves new names.” “Instead of saying, ‘Donde esta su huesos?’ I said, ‘huevos’ … they were literally on the floor laughing.” “I was doing a health ed unit with 7th graders about bones and I was trying to do it in Spanish.” “Without thinking I yelled, ‘Everybody hold your balls!’ I teach eighth grade.” “During recess, I’d blown the whistle for kids to pause and be silent, and a couple kids were still dribbling basketballs.” The ELA teacher listening in corrected me. “I meant I was doing algebra tutorials with a student. “Tuesday, I told a regular math student I was doing an algebra student that afternoon.” “One of the 5th grade girls from my summer group (used to seeing me in shorts and T-shirts) sees me in slacks and shirt and tie and screams at the top of her lungs, ‘Oh my God, George, I’ve never seen you with clothes on before!'” “I worked a few years at an after-school program and then started as a substitute teacher in the same district.” “She was trying to get them to stop typing on their Chromebooks using one finger.” “My partner teacher told a 6th grade class, ‘I see a bunch of little peckers in here.'” “Before sending the grade 8s off to do some work, I said, ‘You can just study, or you can pair up and use the questions to drill each other.’ Yeah, no.” “One time I was going over sample test questions the day before a unit test.” “During science class while attempting to say ‘organism,’ I instead said ‘orgasm’ to a class of 7th graders.” “As I turned from the board, I was met with many pairs of wide eyes and some snickers. “During a lesson on punctuation in narrative writing, I spontaneously wrote ‘I’m coming’ to show how different inflections change the meaning of the conversations.” During nutrition break, I saw him climbing on the desks and hollered, ‘Jack, off! Now!'” “We were doing an art project and he was having a hard time finding a font he liked for the letter D.” “I asked one of my 7th graders if they ‘finally found the perfect ‘D.'” Needless to say, getting that class back on track was tough.” “There was an awkward silence in the class and then everyone burst out laughing. “I told a 7th grade boy to sit down and take the squirrel out of his pants.” Check out the cringeworthy comments they shared with us (names have been changed to initials to protect the guilty). Most impressively, they are able to accidentally say things like, “What made the erection of 1800 so noteworthy?” and continue teaching. For so many students, their middle school teachers are a rock in a turbulent, hormone-laden time in their lives. They can withstand the smell of teenage funk and the leftover immaturity from elementary school. They adore an age group that most people run from screaming. Middle school teachers are a thing of wonder.
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